Home Pastors Articles for Pastors Pastors Can Be Friends with Church Members (and 4 Other Radical Ideas)

Pastors Can Be Friends with Church Members (and 4 Other Radical Ideas)

3. Your family is your primary responsibility, not the church. 

I’ve seen many a pastor do their best to serve a church while overlooking the needs of their family.

If I’m being honest, I’ve also watched many a church require their pastors to give their all to ministry and encouraging them to leave their family the leftovers. It’s a problem all over the world, and pastors often reap what they sow when they find their spouse is distant and their children are rebellious.

When the apostle Paul states pastors must “manage their household,” he uses the verb proistamenon, which is in the present tense. That means it’s not something that had to have been done once, but should be in process continually.

In fact, Paul states, “If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” Shepherding our family actually increases our effectiveness in shepherding people outside of our family because it often helps develop our patience, mercy, compassion and love.

If you want to be a great pastor, start in your home. Create margins and boundaries so your family knows they are the number-one priority in your life.

4. Don’t be afraid of questions; rather, encourage them. 

I’ve had my foot in fundamentalist circles from time to time because fundamentalists come in all shapes and colors. If I had to say there is one thing fundamentalists do not like, it’s questions.

Maybe I’m painting with a broad brush here. If you are a fundamentalist who loves being asked questions, I apologize. But in my experience, many pastors assume when people start asking questions, it’s the first sign of abandoning the faith. Thus, to ask a question is to reject truth!

In actuality, I believe the reason a lot of pastors are afraid of questions is because they believe when people are asking questions, their own authority is being questioned.

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Luke Geraty has been lead pastor of Trinity Christian Fellowship for the past six years and is a member of the Society of Vineyard Scholars. Interested in missional theology within the rural context, Luke loves all things espresso, hockey, hip hop, and fly fishing (what a weird combo!). He and his wife have four children. He blogs regularly at ThinkTheology.org.