3. Easily Offended. He is the spirit church members are constantly alluding to when planning church life and events. Nobody has ever seen Mr. Easily Offended, but everybody is convinced not only of his existence but also of his terribly thin skin. You’ve heard it: “I don’t want to take responsibility for that. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”
The Pastor offers a new idea, and immediately he meets resistance for fear of this ghastly ghoul. “We better not do that, or surely someone will get upset.” An awful lot of progress is impeded in churches for a desire not to offend this invisible and very sensitive imaginary church member.
4. Absentee. Most churches have dozens, and I have even been pastor of churches with hundreds of these apparitions roaming the hallways and grounds. Mr. and Mrs. Absentee Church Member and their children are the ghosts on your membership rolls and rosters that never attend a church gathering but keep church membership for a variety of reasons. Their reasons range from the self-righteous to the silly-ridiculous.
Sometimes Mr. and Mrs. Absentee Church Member keep their membership, even insisting on it, in spite of their lack of attendance and sometimes others insist upon it on their behalf. They are a bizarre lot of ghosts. They are so bizarre that they even illicit irrational thinking from others.
Sometimes their parents insist they remain on the roster of the church even though they live in another city and show no evidence of Christian commitment either by supporting the benevolences and Gospel proclamation of a church in their home city or in the church where they grew up. Since having one’s name written on a church membership roster assures neither salvation nor a growing relationship with God, the necessity of their retaining membership is really based on the silliest of false beliefs about what Church membership means or is purely for the sake of nostalgia.
Sometimes this couple takes issue with the current pastor of their church, so they do not attend but retain membership. The fascinating thing is when this is the case, almost without fail, they do not take up even regular attendance in another local church. When pressed as to why, they will almost invariably retort: “That’s MY church. I’ll keep membership there as long as I like.”
Mr. and Mrs. Absentee Church Member are a curious lot, and every church has them. But whether it is Mr. Somebody, Ms. Unassuming, Mr. Easily Offended or Mr. and Mrs. Absentee Church Member, our churches are filled with ghosts—invisible but haunting entities that slow our progress, cause frustration and impede the Gospel.
Church is for the living. Perhaps someone other than Somebody ought to take responsibility for the work of the church. The Lord bless all of the Misses Unassuming who labor in secret and make the wheels of church turn. Since church is for the living, maybe it would be best to find out what actual people think and consider what is best for the church before shutting down an idea on the basis of Mr. Easily Offended may or may not think; especially since nobody has actually proven his existence. And as for Mr. and Mrs. Absentee Church Member, churches don’t provide absentee ballots. Only those carrying the load get a vote on how best the load ought to be carried.
Beware of ghosts in the church. They surely do exist.
