Why are we so afraid to do the “hard things” in life?
Maybe it’s because many of us have had bad experiences with authority that abused power. As a result, we associate all authority as parental and condescending. But unhealthy paternalism isn’t just of the domineering type … there is also the permissive, enabling type that seeks to save others from any kind of consequences or discomfort. And we must see that this is just as harmful to those we lead!
I believe we’ve gone to the extreme of viewing power as evil, instead of accepting a balanced view that authority and power can not only be good things — they are essential to leadership! We need to be able to embrace our own authority to fight for people, and for what is right, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. That is a vital part of what it means to serve.
If you ever have a chance to watch an episode of Restaurant: Impossible, you will notice how many owners have problems keeping anybody accountable. And it kills the employees. It doesn’t show belief in them, nor a desire to help them grow as people and leaders. It doesn’t push them to excel to a higher standard, and help them succeed and thrive, as they see how much more they’re capable of.
Leadership is hard. It should be. Being a leader puts us to the test of being willing to do what’s hard and uncomfortable, for the sake of serving others. I’ve failed that test many times, and every day I fall short of God’s standard … but that doesn’t make me stop learning and growing in my desire to be a leader of integrity and courage.
If you want to discuss or engage more:
In your culture, how high is the value of harmony and being non-confrontational? What pros and cons have you personally experienced as a result of that?
What do you think has contributed to our general culture of permissiveness and lack of feedback, honesty and accountability?When was the last time somebody gave you honest feedback or criticism? How did they do it? What was your reaction and why?
Do you believe that authority and power are good or bad? What about your background and past experiences might have shaped your beliefs about this? Name some personal experiences when you saw that using authority and power was necessary and fundamental to leadership.
