Angry pastors take their aggression out on their staff.
They drive people away from the church.
Their preaching is harsh and graceless. They become “clubbers” from the pulpit, clobbering people with the Word.
They become vindictive, unforgiving, interested in payback.
The pulpit becomes a place to vent, to accuse, to belittle, to defend.
He is harsh to his wife and stern and unloving to his family.
He blames others for his failings.
He beats the sheep instead of feeding them.
He becomes bitter and sarcastic. “All sarcasm is rooted in anger.”
He crushes the hearts and spirits of the congregation.
A good pastoral counselor can be such a person’s best friend. We said a “good” one, please notice. The last thing an angry minister needs is a passive, nondirective counselor who will nod and repeat back his own statements. He must have someone who will look him in the eye, call a spade a spade, and hold him accountable for his misbehavior.
This kind of counseling can be painful, is usually costly, and can require numerous sessions over many months. Furthermore, it takes a severe toll on the counselor himself. An hour session with an angry person completely wipes out the counselor.
In many cases, the bitter minister will not be going for counseling, however. The problem as he sees it is everyone else, not him. The world needs to change, not him. Woe to the poor soul who ventures to suggest he get counseling for his problem.
When a pastor (we’re talking about any minister) admits to his anger problem and seeks out a pastoral counselor, he has taken a major step in the right direction. But to say he’s “halfway there” would be simplistic. Not by a long shot. He has a long road ahead, but the people who love him most and believe in him strongest will cheer him on and will be there to celebrate with him at the end.
At a gathering of pastors from across denominational lines, various ministers were sharing prayer concerns. An African-American woman said, “I am the pastor of Phillips Memorial United Methodist Church. We are in trouble. In recent days, we have learned that our church is built over a toxic landfill. The poisons in the soil are endangering everyone. We are going to have to relocate our entire church. Please pray for us.”
Anger poisons congregations as surely as the worst toxins in the soil.
It’s bad enough when church members bring active, unresolved anger into the congregation. It’s worse when the carriers of such ill will are leaders of the church. But when the mad men are the pastors and spiritual leaders of the church, the news is all bad.
From then on, it’s all downhill.
