More than a simple “no,” the controller’s denial comes in more flavors than Skittles. You might be familiar with some of their favorite phrases:
“That’s a good idea, but we don’t have the money.”
“Nice suggestion, but that doesn’t really line up with our core values.”
“I like this, I really do, but I’m not so sure that it will get the wider support a project like this really needs.”
The maddening thing about those phrases is that they might actually be true—the idea might be ahead of its time, or beyond the organization’s scope, or lack the support necessary for it to succeed.
But the controller doesn’t employ those phrases because they’re true (if anything, the fact that they might be true is a happy accident); the controller uses those phrases to subtly remind the subordinate who actually has power. The unspoken statement is the one the controller wants heard: “I could fight for this, could push for this, but I choose not to.”
For me, that’s the final rule of bad leaders: Leave no trail.
It’s all about the he said/she said. Let’s be honest—most employees don’t think to document every little conversation or exchange with their leaders. They operate on the assumption that trust is part of a healthy environment (and it is).
This trust is exploited by controllers. They don’t bother having anyone take minutes in a meeting or document decisions made, because that creates an atmosphere where people have to trust one another for accountability. It also plays into the power dynamics of most offices: When in doubt, the higher authority wins.
I know in my life, I’ve been a controller. When I first started in ministry, this model of leadership was implicitly taught. Heck, being Southern, this is practically a way of life.
But over time, I learned that it’s not healthy. It damages people, kills momentum and vision, and ruins everything else a good organization strives to achieve. I learned that I had to change myself as a leader, but I also learned that sometimes a change of environment is necessary as well. Maybe you’re realizing the same things.
Healthy leaders are out there, and sometimes the only way to know them is to know what unhealthy leaders look like. Hope this post helps.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on good leaders versus controllers, so leave a comment below.
