3. We are going to appreciate them when they participate in church services and love them when they don’t.
Some children love to sing in public and some do not. Some children enjoy the limelight, and others shun it with a sense of dread. Pastors’ offspring qualify as “some children.”
A loving mother said church members sometimes are resentful or jealous when the preacher’s children sing in church or take another role such as reciting scripture. “We’re not doing those things to show off,” she said. “It’s honestly part of our normal life to sing hymns and memorize scriptures!”
Few things are scarier for children and teens as rising to speak or sing in front of the entire church. We should encourage any who pull this off, no matter who their parents happen to be!
4. We are going to be so loving and kind to these kids as to overrule all the negatives.
At my request, one mom asked her two young sons for their pros and cons.
On the negatives list were these:
- People stereotype you.
- They watch you closer than they do the other kids.
- Your dad is always on call.
- Sometimes family vacation is canceled for some emergency at the church.
- You are not allowed to do what other children do.
- Dad is sometimes too busy to enjoy us.
- We have to live on a lower income than some of our friends.
- Sometimes Dad misses supper or bedtime because of church meetings.
- At church, our parents are too busy talking to people to listen to me.
- And (worst of all) being attacked or watching my mom get attacked because someone is mad at Dad.
And, these same PKs had a list of things they enjoy about living in the pastorium:
- At “pastor appreciation” time, sometimes the children get gifts too.
- Being raised in church is a good thing.
- You get to meet a lot of great people.
- Church dinners (sometimes great and sometimes not so much).
- You have friends everywhere.
- You learn a lot about people and churches.
- You get to meet missionaries and evangelists and have them in your home.
- You get to participate in ministry opportunities.
My son, Neil remembers those early years as times of interesting vacations when we attended annual meetings of our denomination. He was seven when we traveled to Denver and then through the Rockies, and 13 when we took a three-week long trip into New England and visited homes of U.S. Presidents as well as the White House and Independence Hall. One thing he recalls is that sometimes before we left on such trips, people would slip Dad a little cash, and Dad would share with the children. One more thing. Neil adds, “Church girls love the preacher’s sons.”
So, it ain’t all bad.
