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Is Ministry Stinking Up Your Marriage?

Do you ever feel like ministry is having an adverse effect on your marriage?  

While it’s easy to blame, the truth is, ministry isn’t responsible for anyone having a bad marriage. God doesn’t call us to lead in His church to the detriment of our marriage.  

But I’ve watched many men sacrifice their marriage on the alter of ministry. And when we do, it’s a clear indication that ministry is no longer a calling, it’s an idol.

LAUNCH Network hosted a great Virtual Whiteboard session yesterday featuring Shawn and Tricia Lovejoy, who talked about how to have a thriving marriage while in ministry. The Lovejoys planted Mountain Lake Church in Cumming, Ga., started Velocity Church Planting Conference, and coach church planters all across the country.

Here are a few of my takeaways from yesterday’s session:

1. I will seek to understand the dark side of my strengths. 

Sometimes, the strengths that make us so good in ministry may be the things that are hurting us in our personal life.  

Shawn said, “Your greatest asset can be your greatest liability.” Some of us are great communicators, but not good listeners. We may be results-oriented, but unable to rest or relax. We may be hyperorganized, but have no flexibility.

What’s the dark side of your strength? And how is that impacting your marriage relationship?

2. I will take an honest look at my insecurities.  

Insecurities are frequently something we ignore or are unaware of in our lives.  

Unfortunately, when we fail to deal with them, they eat away at our relational health. When you’re driven by insecurities, you become so focused on getting your own needs met that you fail to serve the needs of your spouse.

Insecurity pushes us to seek validation, affirmation and approval from others. Insecurity can cause us to place unfair expectations on those we love and make us difficult to live with.

How are your insecurities influencing your “need seeking” in your marriage?

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maclake@churchleaders.com'
Mac Lake is the Development Pastor at Seacoast Church, a multi-site church with 13 campuses, where he oversees leadership development, small groups, missions, communications, and internships. He is a popular church leadership conference speaker and the author of the training resource Growing Small Group Leaders. Learn more from Mac at MacLakeOnline.com.