We learned how to respond to the question, “How are you?” with “I’m fine.” But deep down, we know this isn’t true. We’re not fine. We’re not fine at all.
Shame leads us to so many unhealthy extremes.
One thing Will would do to escape the stress of his hidden life was exercise incessantly.
One day, he was at the gym and had been on the treadmill for well over an hour when a guy walked by and jokingly asked, “What are you running from, man?”
Will knew he was joking, but as the guy walked away, he hit the stop button on the treadmill and just stood there, repeating the question under his breath. “What are you running from, Will?”
It’s important to note that shame is not produced by past events. Shame is produced by what we believe about those events. Many of us think the past events of our lives have made us undeserving of God’s love and forgiveness. Many of us have a hard time accepting God’s grace because we tend to only accept the love we think we deserve.
But God does not love us because we are valuable; His love creates value.
Read that sentence again and again until you get it. Really get it.
A few weeks after Will hit “stop” on the treadmill, he did one of the most courageous things I’ve ever seen in a community group: He told his story. He shared from his heart not only what had happened to him in his past, but how his shame had led him to a dark, hidden life that was destroying his marriage.
I was so proud of Will that night. It was the beginning of a new life for him—a life where he would be free from the shackles of shame, which had dominated so much of his life.
The shame that was so powerful while it was in the dark was now being exposed and weakened by the light.
The only shame you carry now is the shame you choose to carry.
The chains are gone. You’re not a slave to shame. You’ve been redeemed, set free.
