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Are You Vulnerable to an Emotional Hijacking?

6. You don’t have a trusted coach to “define” reality for you.

I remember feeling so depressed and wondering what was wrong with me, and my counselor said, “You really don’t see it? Your friend died, and you’re grieving his death. This is normal. You can’t do anything to rush it.”

I honestly hadn’t connected the two, but I felt relieved by his words.

Sometimes, we can’t see our reality in an objective way because we’re simply too close to it. That’s why we need to have someone we trust to help us define our reality for us, when we’re in the thick of it, so we don’t get lost in the fog.

If you don’t have someone like this in your life, you need to find someone. Give them permission to speak the truth to you in love.

7. You think people are the machinery to accomplish the vision, rather than the vision itself.

In the early part of my ministry, I used to think people were getting in my way. If they would just do what I say, work harder, serve more and be more committed, we would grow this thing. I was frustrated that they were holding me back from success.

But then I felt God tell me: “I didn’t call you to be a general. I called you to be a shepherd.”

I realized my attitude was all wrong.

People weren’t in the way of my vision. People were the vision. And when I started to find my joy in the growth of the people, rather than in what they could accomplish for me, it changed everything. No longer was my “success” dependent on people being obedient to my wishes.

My joy was dependent on helping people turn toward Jesus and become obedient to Him.

8. You think every complaint is a personal attack.

Proverbs 26:5-6 (NIV) says, “Better is an open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

If you think about it, complaints can actually work in your favor if you allow them to. You just have to be able to distinguish between two kinds of complaints—complaints from friends, and complaints from enemies.

The distinction is really simple. Friends have your best interest in mind. Enemies have their own best interest in mind.

When you receive a complaint from a “friend,” (someone who is putting others before themselves), their complaint will make you better if you open your heart to receive it.

This is not a personal attack. It’s not about you at all. But you have to be able to look at the circumstances objectively.

If you think every complaint that comes your way is a personal attack, you’ll never take the opportunity God is giving you to grow. And, in that sense, you’re allowing the ways of the enemy to win.

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scottwilson@churchleaders.com'
Scott Wilson is the Senior Pastor of The Oaks Fellowship, ministering to about 3,000 people every week in Dallas, TX. He is a frequent conference speaker, and provides mentorship for dozens of pastors and church leaders through Scott Wilson Consulting. Scott is a loving husband and proud father. Scott and his wife, Jenni, have three boys: Dillon, Hunter, and Dakota.