5. As hard as it is to admit, wise people realize that they are the problem.
So many relationships fail because one partner says the other partner is the problem. I lived like that in my marriage and in my leadership for a season until I realized, gulp, that I’m the problem.
In fact, the longer you stay in a relationship or leadership role, the more you will have to come to terms with the grinding truth that you are the cap on progress.
That’s why serial relationships and serial leadership are so wide-spread. Leave soon enough and you never have to look in the mirror. It’s always someone else’s fault.
Wise people understand and embrace that they are the problem. I tell myself almost daily that I am the problem in leadership where I serve, and that potentially God might work a solution through me.
Wise people also seek help in identifying their blind spots and problems by gathering mentors, counselors and friends around them to help them spot their issues. They are also wide open to hearing about problems from the people they work with.
6. There is a certain joy that can only happen after years of being together.
When you are able to work through your issues in a marriage, everything gets better.
There’s a certain joy that comes in being with the same person for 23 years. We know things about each other that no one else can know. We can read each other better than anyone else can read us. And the deep pleasure in simply being together grows every year. There’s an intimacy that only time can deliver that is almost hard to put into words.
That’s one of the things I love about working with some of the same people for years and years. There are stories whose mere mention brings a smile to everyone’s face. The trust runs so deep. And there’s a joy in just knowing that you’ve been in this together for so long and it’s making a difference.
Let me guess your next question: Am I saying you should never leave?
No. Not at all. I wrote here about five signs that will tell you it’s time to move on and Ron Edmondson offers some great thoughts on the subject. But I do think many leaders leave too soon.
So, what’s your experience?
Do you see parallels between sex, love and marriage and leadership?
What are you learning?
