How to Avoid Becoming a Church Sex Symbol

2. Love people, not the spotlight.

Loving people is foundational for any church leader.

The church is people. It’s not a gig for you to spotlight your abilities and talents.

Spotlights are common in churches, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long we are reflectors. Just as we are to reflect God’s glory (2 Corinthians 3:18), we should reflect the spotlight on us back to God. When we fall in love with being spotlighted, we can easily forget the reason we are there, which is to love God and love people.

If you start feeling like you’re too important to mingle or spend time with the people of God, the sex symbol status may be setting in.

I’m afraid that green rooms have become an enabler of church leaders to be away from people, instead of with people.

Resist the urge to hang out backstage and go invest in the church.

Take advantage of opportunities to actually be with the people.

Be in a small group.

Most importantly, make sure you are intentionally discipling. The great commission is not dependent on a show. It’s a result of us showing God’s love, which Rick Warren says is spelled T-I-M-E. That is something that has never required a stage or a spotlight.

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Gary Durbin
Gary is the Worship Arts Director at Redemption Chapel in Stow, Ohio. He is also a blogger and a songwriter with a passion to serve the church. He and his wife, Jennifer, have two children and have been married since 1999. You can follow him on Twitter & Instagram @garydurbin or on Facebook at