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The Subtle (and Dangerous) Lie All Pastors Tell

My heart had become full. Of criticism.

To my shame, it was criticism of a fellow pastor. He was a friend, a godly man who loved his family, preached the gospel, prayed regularly, never gossiped and always believed the best about people.

But I began to struggle with something about him.

It wasn’t some secret sin. It wasn’t a double life. It was nothing “scandalous” at all, really.

It was that he lied.

When asked how he was doing, he always replied, “Great!”

When asked what he needed prayer for, he always offered some generic request.

He kept things guarded, impersonal and close to the vest, even when others around him shared the depths of their heart.

I don’t think I ever heard him apologize to anyone for anything, ever.

Yet, he smiled a lot. He laughed heartily and kept things as “positive” as possible.

But I saw how the people closest to him were positively crushed by his lack of vulnerability. I was one of them.

Please don’t misunderstand: I believe pastors have the right to protect their privacy, to keep some things personal. They don’t need to lay everything on the table under the microscope of the entire church. They can be less emotive and steer toward the quiet side.

They should not blab on about their sins and shortcomings. They must exercise honest discretion.

And I certainly don’t expect pastors to give in to the spirit of the age, where trend-setting church staffs and members demand “transparency” and “vulnerability” from their 55- going on 35-year-old pastor.