In my research for my most recent book on people-pleasing pastors, I discovered six fundamental weaknesses or gaps that leaders in general and pastors in particular face in some degree. These are based on insight from a perspective on how we deal with our emotions called family systems.
To which leadership gap do you tend to default?
Gap 1: Emotional reactivity (low emotional restraint).
Description: The phrase emotional reactivity defines itself. It’s seen in pastors who either outwardly or inwardly emotionally react to others when under stress.
Metaphor: Porcupine
Characteristics: emotional outbursts, conflict, yelling, closed body language, relational distancing, triangling, sullenness, withdrawal
Biblical character with this gap: Moses showed reactivity several times. He killed an Egyptian (Ex 2.12) when he saw him beating a Hebrew. He reactively struck a rock out of frustration with the people instead of obeying God’s command to speak to it (Num 20.11). And he threw down the first set of the 10 Commandments when he saw the people worshipping the golden calf (Ex 21.19).
Gap 2: Lack of I-position (low convictional stance).
Description: A pastor with this gap will stand on his convictions when he senses those around him would agree with him. When pressured to change his stand, however, he often gives in.
Metaphor: Jellyfish
Characteristics: fearful to take an opposing position with church influencers like big givers or elders, lack of backbone, blaming others, holding others responsible for his happiness or his failures
Biblical character with this gap: Timothy. He probably faced this gap in his leadership early in his ministry life. We see this from inferences in the Apostle Paul’s advice to Timothy. Paul encouraged him to not let others look down on his youth (1 Tm 4.12). He also encouraged him to not be timid with others (2 Tm 1.7).
