Because your spouse will reciprocate.
If you have kids, this gets magnified.
Your child will see how you tear down your husband, how you make fun of your wife, and do you know what they will think? That’s how I communicate to mom or dad.
The respect a child shows a parent will always be less than the respect a husband gives his wife or a wife gives to her husband.
Always.
So, back to the statement at the beginning.
Every time I hear those statements, my heart breaks. It means people are miserable. It means that the picture of the gospel that marriage is supposed to be is broken to the world around it. It means couples aren’t communicating well. That couples aren’t fighting well.
It also means that as children watch, the cycle will most likely continue. They will see how to relate to their parents (in an unhealthy and disrespectful way).
Boys will see how their moms treat their husbands with disrespect and condescension and think, “If I want a woman to respect me, I need to dominate her, I need to be rough with her,” instead of loving and serving her.
Daughters will watch their fathers disrespect their moms and think, “That is how men treat women, they make fun, they put down, they do not show love and respect to women.”
When moving from this, when a child disrespects a parent, it is best if the other parent corrects the child. Simply saying, “That’s not how we talk to daddy, we talk to him with respect.” If the child is older and responds with how disrespectful you are, take the opportunity to admit your sin to your child and apologize. Yes, be angry at their sin, but realize their sin is simply from watching you.
If you are not proactive, this cycle will just continue and that is disastrous to your marriage and family (and one day to the marriage of your child).
If you aren’t careful, this is the one thing that will destroy your marriage (and your family) and there is a good chance you don’t realize it.
