“That person was my friend before I ever became a church leader.”
I have two names for the person who offers this excuse: Ananias and Sapphira. God did not excuse Sapphira for cooperating with her husband’s scheme to misrepresent their generosity.
When you become a leader in the church, your loyalty to Jesus must take precedence over your desire to avoid conflict with those you love. Jesus commanded us to love him more than our closest family. We don’t love them less; we just love him more.
“I wasn’t wearing my church-leader hat at that moment.”
Church leadership is a calling and identity, not a disguise we don for meetings and worship services.
If you accept a church leadership role, you’re a church leader.
“I promised I would keep it confidential.”
Yes, but you should not have. You need to correct your error, not solidify it.
When you realized you were being given information that needed to be shared, you should have said, “I am truly sorry that I spoke hastily. I should not have guaranteed confidentiality before knowing what you would say. This info needs to be heard by other leaders, so do you want to tell them over the next 24 hours, or shall I?”
That’s an uncomfortable (but honest) fix for a confidentiality commitment that should never have been voiced.
“I was afraid the leadership team would overreact.”
This might be a valid concern. But the fact remains those leaders are the ones to whom God has given the responsibility to respond. It’s simply not your call to divert or withhold information.
Beware the trap of hastily offered confidentiality. And if you know someone who could benefit from this advice, don’t keep it a secret.
