Illusion #3: That which excites you actually deadens you and will lead to having an affair.
What excites you?
The biggest part of an illicit relationship is played out between your ears. This is especially true in the flirting stage. Before the sneaking around and the sex begin, your mind is a tornado of possibilities. A suggestive comment is made, and suddenly your heart kicks up about 10 beats per minute as you ponder all sorts of delicious scenarios.
I’ve heard men in the middle of this experience say, “I’ve never felt more alive!”
The truth is, they’ve never been more dead.
Proverbs 21:16 says it best: “The person who strays from common sense will end up in the company of the dead.”
You’ll be dead to the truth about the relationship.
Dead to the reality of your spiritual condition.
Dead to the trouble you’re making for yourself.
Dead to the damage you’re doing to your loved ones.
Dead to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Not surprisingly, I hear a lot of repentant adulterers talk about their past affairs in terms that sound as though they could be talking about death:
“I went brain dead.”
“I lost touch with reality.”
“I was really out of it.”
Illusion #4: That which seems to justify your actions actually condemns you and leads to having an affair.
What seems to justify your actions?
A laundry list of rationalizations.
I can’t count the times I’ve sat and listened to men try to explain why their actions should be viewed differently than your run-of-the-mill cheater.
“My wife doesn’t understand me.”
“I tried for years to be a good husband.”
“My wife just isn’t the same person I married.”
I am always amazed at the passion with which people say these ridiculous things. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising.
People who know they’re wrong are typically desperate to make things appear different than they really are, and if you don’t have truth on your side, it makes sense to go for emotion.