Home Pastors Articles for Pastors How to Predict Divorce (Hint: It Involves the Wedding Cake)

How to Predict Divorce (Hint: It Involves the Wedding Cake)

1. Force

Gentleness is a trait of a healthy marriage. Specifically, men need to be gentle with their wives.

Our strength is to be used for the wellbeing of our spouses, not to their detriment.

When someone uses an extreme amount of force when they are happy and in public, it makes me wonder what they are willing to do when they are angry and in private.

2. Revenge

The cake exchange is supposed to have a bit of “gotcha” in it. You get me; I get you.

However, some individuals ratchet up the revenge. They don’t just get even, they make sure their “get back” is better.

This might be meaningless with cake, but it is fatal in fights. This trait will cause every disagreement to turn into a nightmare of a battle.

A spouse who does this can never have a small fight. Every word spoken to them will be returned with a harsher word. Every assumed slight will lead to a greater slight directed back toward the spouse.

3. Pride

If you can’t lose, you might as well not get married.

Every married person is going to have to lose on occasion. Sometimes you will lose because you are wrong and sometimes you will lose because you care more about the relationship than the argument.

Some people can’t lose—even when it comes to the cake exchange. If they have to be the victor at the expense of their spouse, they might win the cake, but they will lose the marriage.

If a person isn’t humble enough to have a little cake on their nose in a happy moment, they will never have the humility to submit to their spouse during a tough time. (See: Pride—The Only Enemy of Marriage)

4. Contempt

It is shocking to me how often an apparent disdain for a spouse is revealed moments after committing their lives solely to one another.

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Kevin A. Thompson is Lead Pastor of Community Bible Church, a multi-site church in Fort Smith, AR. He currently writes a daily blog focusing on leadership, marriage, and parenting (specifically parenting a child with special needs). Kevin is the author of Friends, Partners & Lovers and the forthcoming sequel Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples who Laugh, Love, and Last. Along with his wife, Kevin is co-owner of JThompsonMMC, a full service media and marketing company based in Fort Smith. He is a graduate of Beeson Divinity School of Samford University and Oklahoma Baptist University.