It is one thing to get a playful laugh, but it is something far different to completely disrespect your spouse’s personhood in order to look victorious at feeding each other cake.
These are the negative aspects of cake exchanges gone bad. Here is what a cake exchange should reveal:
If a couple can’t have fun WITH each other (not at the expense of each other), what’s the point of getting married.
Feeding each other cake is an odd tradition, but one that should be defined by lighthearted fun. (See: One Sign of a Healthy Marriage)
Healthy marriages are built on mutual respect. No matter the setting or circumstance, spouses should always respect the dignity and wellbeing of their spouse.
Even if an action will get a good laugh, a wise person will never exploit their spouse in order to get the laugh. (See: Respect—A Necessary Ingredient for a Successful Marriage)
It seems obvious, but the next time you attend a wedding and watch the cake exchange, ask a simple question: “Was that done in a loving way?”
You will be shocked at how often it is not loving. If the cake exchange isn’t executed with love, the couple will have little chance of navigating the difficult issues of marriage with love.
It’s a funny habit—to watch newlyweds exchange cake wondering what I can decipher about their relationship—but one that has been sadly accurate over the years.
Next time you are at a wedding, watch and see. Of course, if the bride hits the floor as the groom laughs, take back your wedding gift, because the couple will likely be divorced within the year.
What other common situations reveal the true character of a relationship?