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The #1 Thing We’d Have Changed in Our Marriage

3. Friendship makes a marriage more forgiving.

Like a precious jewel, a genuine friend is hard to find and devastating to lose. A friend is so valuable that you are more likely to repent of your sin against them, and forgive their sin against you, because the friendship is so treasured that it is worth the occasional withdrawal.

Friendship is one of the great antidotes to the three-headed marriage monster—bitterness, unforgiveness and unrepentance. Friends figure it out. Friends clean it up. Friends get over it. Friends move on … together.

4. Friendship makes a marriage more sacrificial.

We do things for our friends that we’d never do for anyone else.

If a friend calls you at 2 a.m. because their car broke down, you will likely go get them. But if your boss calls you, it’s likely you’ll just let it go to voicemail.

Friends go out of their way to do sacrificial things for one another without expecting to be repaid in some way. I can honestly say that Grace is the most sacrificial and servant-hearted friend I’ve ever had.

A genuine friend is hard to find and devastating to lose.

5. Friendship makes a marriage more Christian.

The God of the Bible is Trinitarian: one God in three Persons—Father, Son and Spirit. To have a Christian marriage includes reading the Bible together, praying together, worshiping as part of a church family together, serving God together, and so on. But a Christian marriage has to be between friends to truly be Christian.

Since our God is a community of three loving, united Friends who communicate with and care for one another, there is no such thing as a truly Christian marriage without friendship. After all, marriage is in large part supposed to be a reflection of the nature and character of our glorious God (Eph. 5).

Friends go out of their way to do sacrificial things for one another without expecting to be repaid in some way.

6. Friendship makes a marriage more fun.

Grace says this one with a smile. A husband and wife should spend a lot of time together, and if they are friends that means they can find ways to have a lot of fun even when they’re doing something ordinary, like shopping for groceries while laughing along the way.

Grace says having fun makes the relationship “safer,” because it allows you to relax, not be on edge, and not fear doing or saying something wrong. As a result, you can just have more fun.

Religious people who read this will start to quibble over the difference between joy and fun, because religious people are not very fun. Joy is something you can have all the time in spite of circumstances. Fun is something you can have some of the time because of circumstances. We are fans of both. Go for joy all the time, and take time for fun any time.

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markdriscoll@churchleaders.com'
Pastor Mark Driscoll is the Preaching and Speaking pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He is one of the world’s most downloaded and quoted pastors. His audience—fans and critics alike—spans the theological and cultural left and right. Follow his updates at twitter.com/pastorMark.