Katy Perry and Why PKs Walk Away From the Church

I was able to see past the negative side of ministry. Yes, there are negative sides to ministry. Sheep bite, and people are not perfect. At times, there are politics. The church is made up of people. People who struggle and have weaknesses like we all do. But I was able to see past that and see the bigger picture.

I made a personal choice to follow Christ, and my faith became my own. I came to Christ when I was a young child. It was a very real experience that I can still remember to this day. When I was in high school, God began to speak to me about being a pastor myself.

My parents had never asked me about being a pastor. In fact, they had mentioned several times I should consider being a school teacher. And I had personally told God I would never be a pastor. Yes, I would be faithful to church and serve Him … but not working for a church.

But when God calls .. .you have to make a choice. You can say “yes” or you can walk away from His will for your life. After struggling for months, I made the choice to say “yes” to God’s plan for my life.

I said that to say this. At the end of the day, each person must decide for themselves if they will follow Christ or not. Yes, godly parents do make a difference and help cultivate the soil, but they cannot make the decision for their child.

Do I blame Katy Perry’s parents for the road she has chosen? No. She picked this path. I could have just as easily chosen to go down a path away from God.

If your pastor has kids in your children’s ministry, I want to encourage you to …

  • Love them. They are just like the other kids in your ministry. They want to know you care about them, not because of who their father is, but because of who they are as an individual.
  • Let them be kids. They are not perfect. They are going to misbehave at times and make mistakes  Don’t say, “You should know better. You are the pastor’s kid!” This places unrealistic expectations on them. 
  • Don’t mistreat their parents. When you talk about the pastor or cause strife in the church, you not only bring hurt to him, you hurt his kids as well. Even if they don’t know the details (hopefully their parents are protecting them from the negative side of church), they sense when there is strife and division in the church.
  • Pour into their lives. Just because their father is the pastor doesn’t mean they don’t need other people to teach them, mentor them and speak into their lives. Yes, my parents were my primary spiritual influence, but there were also lots of godly leaders who poured into my life over the years. They all had a part in my decision to follow Christ.
  • Don’t place unrealistic expectations on their father that causes him to be gone from home all the time. Help protect their father’s time. They need a father at home just like other kids. Don’t contribute to them resenting the church because it took their father away all the time.

What are your thoughts about PKs?
If you are a PK, share your experience growing up.
Are you a pastor or staff member in ministry who currently has kids at home?
What are some other ways we can support and encourage PKs?
What are some other reasons why you believe some PKs walk away from God?   

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Dale Hudson
Dale Hudson has served in children and family ministry for over 27 years. He is the Founder and Director of Relevant Children’s Ministries which provides resources and coaching for churches. He has been named one of the Top 20 Influencers in Children’s Ministry. He is the co-author of six ministry books, including If Disney Ran Your Children’s Ministry.