Home Pastors Articles for Pastors Effective Church Leaders Do Not Treat Everyone Equally

Effective Church Leaders Do Not Treat Everyone Equally

3. Those Affected By a Ministry

We didn’t take a poll of our church members about the design of our church website and logo, or about what our door-greeter policies should be. But we did take the pulse of first-time guests and even some people who hadn’t been to the church at all.

Why? Because the website, logo and greeters have a huge effect on people’s first impression of the church. People who’ve been in the church for years aren’t going to leave because they don’t like the church’s website design. And if they would leave over something that petty, well, maybe they should.

As another example, we pay close attention to the opinions of the parents of the kids in our children’s ministry. Even the ones who aren’t volunteering (although those who also volunteer get even more of a voice), because they are affected by the ministry we do with their kids.

Or take the church building, for example. In our church’s recent upgrade, we added more ramps than are required by the ADA. Why? Because people in our church who use wheelchairs and walkers pointed out the need to us. They’re the ones affected, so they have a greater say.

It only makes sense to take the pulse of people who are affected by a ministry. It’s the only way to know if you’re really having the impact you’re hoping for.

Who’s Not on the Priority List?

You may have noticed some of the usual suspects are not on my list. Here are a few and why they didn’t make the cut.

1. The Chronically Needy

People with needs matter a great deal to us. But that doesn’t give their opinions about how to run the church a higher priority.

When I started in ministry, I spent too much time reacting to every needy person (real or imagined), and I allowed the chronically needy to suck me dry.

I believe this is at least some of what Jesus was referring to when he told the disciples Matthew 26:11“>“the poor you will always have with you.” It wasn’t about ignoring people with real needs. It was a reminder that some needs will never go away this side of heaven, so we have to prioritize how we respond to those needs in order to make sure the right things get done. Including, as Jesus taught us, Matthew 16:6-13“>prioritizing worship.

2. The Whiners

The volume and frequency of a person’s complaints does not give their opinion greater credibility. In fact, if we give in to the whiners, we teach people that whining works.

3. People With Titles or Positions

People with titles and/or positions actually do have some significant say in my church. But I don’t give their opinion greater weight because they have a title. They earned the title because their opinion has greater weight.

In our church, people don’t earn positions by seniority or politics. They earn positions of authority because they fit the #1 and #2 criteria on the above list—they’re mature, involved leaders.

If you’re dealing with people who believe their opinion matters because of their title, you may have to adapt to and work around some difficult situations. Pastors who have recently inherited dysfunctional churches often have a huge battle to fight in this arena.

Hold the meetings you’re required to hold. Listen to the people you’re required to listen to. Then find truly wise counsel to help you start changing the atmosphere of the church and its leadership paradigm.

Titles and wisdom don’t always go hand-in-hand.

Wisdom + Endurance = Effectiveness

Seeking wise counsel is a biblical mandate. But the key word in that is “wise.”

Effective leaders will learn (sometimes the hard way, like I did) who to learn from, who to invest in and who to ignore. Yes, ignore. Not ignore their personhood, but their whining.

Shortly after I arrived at my church over 21 years ago, one of the truly mature believers in the church pulled me aside and implored me, “Pastor, I know this is not an easy church to pastor. But please stay long enough so that the people who have come to this church after you outnumber the ones who were here before you. Build your own team. It may take a while, but if you outlast them, you can pastor this church well for a long time.”

He was right.

It took a long time. It wasn’t always easy. But the changes did come.

And it has been worth it.

So what do you think? What standards do you use to determine whose opinion should be given greater weight?  

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Karl is the author of four books and has been in pastoral ministry for almost 40 years. He is the teaching pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship, a healthy small church in Orange County, California, where he has ministered for over 27 years with his wife, Shelley. Karl’s heart is to help pastors of small churches find the resources to lead well and to capitalize on the unique advantages that come with pastoring a small church. Karl produces resources for Helping Small Churches Thrive at KarlVaters.com, and has created S.P.A.R.K. Online (Small-Church Pastors Adapt & Recover Kit), which is updated regularly with new resources to help small churches deal with issues related to the COVID-19 crisis and aftermath.