4. Change What You Can.
So you can change yourself. And the best leaders will do that.
But there are probably some things you can also change. And yes, you’ll be tempted to rail against the things you can’t change. But again, why focus on that?
Ask yourself this: What can I change?
You’re in charge of something. Change it.
You might argue that you don’t have permission to change anything.
Sure you do. You can change the culture. Even if you’re in charge of a volunteer team of five, make them the five best loved people in the church or organization. Create a super healthy team. Accomplish all you can accomplish. Do everything you’re capable of doing. Even a little more.
Others might sit up and take notice, realizing everyone would be better off if they did what you’re doing.
And even if no one notices, the five people you work with will notice. And they’ll be so thankful for it.
5. Publicly and Privately Support the Team.
So you’ve got some personal growth happening and you’ve changed whatever is within your control.
You’ll still be tempted to rail against the leadership that just doesn’t get it.
Or you’ll be publicly loyal but privately critical—all smiles during the meeting but venomous over coffee.
Big mistake.
Integrity would demand that you be the same in public and in private.
Plus it’s a decent strategy. As Andy Stanley says, public loyalty buys you private leverage. When a leader knows you’ve been supportive, they’re more likely to listen to you, even if what you have to say (to their face) is critical.
If you’ve got an issue with someone, share it with that person directly. Otherwise, keep quiet.
6. Weigh Your Options.
Does this always turn out well? No, it doesn’t.
But churches (and every organization) would be so much healthier if people followed the course above.
So what happens if you’ve done all this and more and, still, nothing changes?
At this point I think you weigh your options. You need to decide whether you can live within a glass ceiling (things above you will likely not change), or whether it’s time to move on.
This is the time to prayerfully weigh your options, call in wise counsel, and get them to give you advice and look at the pros and cons of staying versus going.
When things don’t change, it might be time for you to make a change.
If it helps, I outlined five signs it’s time to move on in this post.
7. Make a Decision.
Too many leaders I know get stuck in perpetual discontent because they refuse to make a decision.
When I ask them how long they’ve been disgruntled, they’ll often tell me ‘for years’ or ‘since the beginning.’ Really? Then why are you still there?
Either make peace with the limits you see, or move on.
The key is to make a decision. Decide to stay or decide to leave.
If you stay, accept the limits and play within them. Do all you can with all you are able to influence and control, but know you’ve settled for something less than you once hoped for.
Or you might head into the brave frontier of the unknown.
Either way, decide. Because either way, you’ll be happier than you would be if you simply stay perpetually frustrated.
What Do You Think?
What have you learned about what do you if you want things to change but no one else does?
