It is possible for a man to meet the moral qualifications for a pastor, yet be disqualified because of his evident lack of leadership in the home. A man who came to Christ later in life, after his wife and children had established patterns of behavior, and had a home in chaos, could serve the Lord, but not as an elder or a deacon (1 Timothy 3:12).
“Household” includes an elder’s family and more, because it reaches to everything connected with the home. He must be a good steward of his house and his finances—all the people and resources over which he has responsibility. Someone, for example, who managed his family well, but mismanaged his money and possessions, would be disqualified.
Further, a leader in the church must keep “his children under control with all dignity.” That qualification is not meant to exclude men without children, but merely assumes they will be present. Hupotage (“under control”) is a military term. It speaks of lining up in rank under one in authority. An elder’s children are to be respectful and well-disciplined. “Dignity” includes courtesy, humility and competence. It could be translated respect, or stateliness. An elder’s children must bring honor to their parents. The obvious implication is that his family is ordered, disciplined, not rebellious, as Paul adds in Titus 1:6, “not accused of dissipation or rebellion.”
Why Does His Leadership at Home Matter in the Church?
The reason a church leader must have a well-managed home is obvious: “If a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5).
An elder is responsible for leading people to God, to holiness, to obedience and to witness—crucial matters that must be tested and proven in his own home. Establishing a church culture of resolving conflict, building unity, maintaining love and serving each other is a challenge that begins in the home. If he succeeds in his family, he is likely to succeed in God’s family. If not, he is disqualified.
