Guys, can I be honest with you? Marriage can be hard.
Did you know that already?
Sometimes you do the wrong thing before you even knew you did the wrong thing. You try to figure out the one you love the most, but the more you try the more confused you get. I get it. I understand.
Men and women are different. (You can tweet that.)
We don’t always think and respond to life the same way.
And likely there are some things about your wife you just didn’t know.
Over the years, through counseling training and actual counseling—and learning from my wife—I’ve observed some things. And I’ve realized some men simply don’t know them—or don’t realize how important they are to their wife.
Here are seven things you may not know but you need to know about your wife:
You step on her feelings more than you know.
You just do. And you don’t even mean to—or know that you are most of the time. She may think you do, but you don’t. You’re just not as aware of how she’s wired emotionally. And most of the time she overlooks it. She knows it wasn’t intentional. But it hurts. And the more you do it the more it hurts. So be careful with your words.
And that leads to the next one.
Your words are heavier than you think they are.
You need to know that. When she asks you how she looks, for example—yes it is a quandary on how to respond and there are plenty of jokes around about that dilemma—but your response matters. Probably more than any other response of her day. It’s a small question to you but big question for her. And you communicate things to her continually through how you say what you say and the body language you combine with your words. And they weigh a ton to her. A ton.
She wants you to take the lead.
At least occasionally. I know all the women’s rights issues cloud this for you. It can be confusing, but there’s likely something in your wife just waiting for you to make a decision. She values your input and she wants you to lead in the home as well as she sees that you can lead elsewhere. And, speaking on behalf of men, I know you don’t always want to be the leader. She’s better at making many of the decisions than you are. Still, she’s waiting—hoping that you’ll step up where you need to lead.