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5 Ministers Who Are Better at This Than You

A bit of a humorous take on the comparison game pastors play and the sorts of ministers that are better than you.

I’ve been in ministry for 10 years now all over the world, and while there are many things that vary based on where you’re serving and the kind of ministry you’re doing, there is one thing that you can always count on—someone is doing it better than you. I’ve used the latest research methods and statistical formulas to narrow these people to the following categories:

1. The New Guy

This minister just got to town a few months ago and is gung-ho about everything. He’s easily irritated because he was the top of his class at seminary and sees quickly why everyone in your area isn’t already a Christian—you’ve been doing it wrong!

The new guy has read the latest book about a new methodology, which, if followed to the letter, will create incredible movements. The old weathered ministers would be much better at what they’re doing if they’d just get with the times. The newest research shows this method is proven to work in New York, Africa, Asia, the Middle East and even among some unique groupings of bacteria on Mars.

God called him to this place, he’s certain of it, and it must be because God is going to use him for great things—like successfully evangelizing the whole place by Thanksgiving.

Motto: “I’m here now, the rest of you can just go ahead and go home.”

2. The Guy Serving in a Tough Place

Whether this is somewhere in downtown Detroit, in a spider-ridden grass hut in Africa, or among the anti-airconditioning-cannibals-of-that-really-hot-island-in-the-Pacific, this minister has it worse than you. He wants to tell you about his ministry, but he wants to tell you much more about how bad the toilet situation is where he lives. He has incredible stories of dangerous situations, insane people who were changed through his ministry, and how his family has suffered as a result of their calling.

Even if you were nearly killed last month because you were preaching the gospel someplace dangerous, that’s nothing compared to his experience, last month he was nearly killed five times.

Motto: “I used to dream of being able to do ministry in a place as comfortable as where you live.”

3. The Guy Just Passing Through to Go Serve in a Tough Place

“Which of the 850 languages in Papua New Guinea are you here to learn?” he asks you when he first arrives.

Your response is one of confusion, “This is Houston, what do you mean?”

“Oh, I just figured, as a minister, you were probably only in a place this comfortable for a few years to learn a language at one of the local universities and then be sent out. I’m sorry. So wait, which people group do you serve?”