7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Hear in Church

6) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in their current situation. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this …

So then the person who marries his fiancee does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better. 1 Corinthians 7:38

Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality. God has not called everyone to marry. I talk with young men and women that are consumed with finding a spouse. And most of the pressure comes from … US. The church. Once a person reaches mid-20s, we assume they have a fatal flaw if they aren’t married.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are the result of Christians pressuring people into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.

7) The wedding day is a lie … don’t buy it. 

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Don’t buy the wedding day lie. Marriage is not about you.

Many couples buy the lie of the wedding day … it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing … you will see).

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What are some truths you have discovered about marriage the church never taught you? There were several more I had to remove because of length. Let’s continue the discussion!

I love you all. To God be the glory forever. Amen!  

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Frank Powell
Frank lives in Jackson, TN with his amazing wife and two boys. He loves black coffee and doing stuff outside like golf and running.