59 Things NOT to Say to a Preacher

More Things Not to Say to a Preacher

23. “Can I take the microphone to say a few words now, Preacher?”

24. “I know you’re getting ready to preach, Pastor, but can I tell you something that’s been bothering me.”

25.  “Now, don’t take this personally, Pastor …”

26. “So, what does your wife do in the church?”

27. “We don’t want those kind of people in our church.”

28. “You preach too long; that’s why people are leaving.”

29. “Don’t forget who pays the bills around here.”

30. “Oh, Pastor—don’t you just love Joel Osteen!”

31. “Back in my old church, we used to …”

32. “Well, all I know is if I were the pastor, I would …”

33. “It must be nice to work just one day a week.”

34. “I see here by the notes in my Bible that’s the third time you’ve preached that sermon.”

35. “Would you agree with me in prayer, Pastor, that the Lord would give us a new house (car, job, whatever).”

36. “Where is your wife today, Pastor? I didn’t see her. Shouldn’t she be here?”

37. “Here’s a tape of the preacher we heard on vacation.”

38. “Do you have a real job—or is this all you do?”

39. “I used to think you were the best preacher in town.”

40. “Are you aware of what your daughter posted on Facebook?”

41. “Believe me, Pastor, you do not want to go there!”

42. “You just got back from the youth camp, I hear. So, how was your vacation?”

43. “Well, Preacher, you do this because you get paid. The rest of us are volunteers and do it for nothing. We have a life.”

44. “This is our church. My granddaddy started this church.”

45. “I miss our church when it was just our people.”

46. “I forgot to write you your paycheck, Pastor. I’ll bring it with me next Sunday.”

47. “Your hands are so soft. Have you ever done a day’s work in your life?”

48. “I don’t care what the Bible says. I know what I believe …”

49. “You are part-time, right?”

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Joe McKeever
Joe McKeever has been a believer over 60 years, has been preaching the Gospel over 50 years, and has been writing and cartooning for Christian Publications over 40 years. He lives in New Orleans.