3. Emotional Involvement
All counseling sessions should be approached with empathy and care for the counselee. A certain degree of connection is necessary for therapy or counseling. However, emotional and physical boundaries should be in place in order for the pastor to maintain enough critical distance to effectively counsel. When pastors begin developing a deeper intimate connection with a particular counselee that extends beyond a pastor/church-member relationship, they should consider the impact it could have on the counseling relationship.
Thinking often of the counselee outside of sessions, creating intimacy with a counselee that extends beyond the pastor’s normal counseling relationships, or utilizing sessions as a time to personally connect instead of examining the counselee’s struggles are signs that the pastor should consider making a referral to another counselor. Specific counseling boundaries not only protect the counselee, they also protect the pastor.
4. Personal Life
When counseling sessions are extending into the pastor’s personal and work life, a pastor should consider alternatives for their counseling work. Excessive worry, stress, lack of productivity and defensiveness about counseling would be good indicators that counseling has become a burden or that counseling boundaries have been crossed. Taking a break from counseling at-large or from a specific counseling case would be recommended.
5. Lack of Progress
Despite several months of counseling, the counselee is not making improvement. Is the lack of improvement due to the counselee’s resistance or the pastor’s lack of knowledge? It may be unclear. However, if the counselee is not benefiting or is being harmed from the counseling sessions or counseling method, a referral to a mental health professional is recommended.
