Want to change the whole world with small, bite-sized steps? Affirm people. We’re starving for it. We live in a highly critical age when civility has been replaced with sharp-tongued sarcasm. We celebrate witty criticism far more than we celebrate affirmation, but affirming people is a missing ingredient to deeper relationships, mutual emotional healing and basically a better world all the way around.
You can most likely identify with what it feels like to live in a vacuum of praise, where affirmation is hard to come by. Statistically (and hopefully you’re an exception), you probably grew up lacking genuine affirmation from Mom and/or Dad. You’ve probably worked in an atmosphere where correction was far more plentiful than congratulations on a job well done, especially when the “performance review” rolls around. And you may have even been labeled a rebel or a juvenile delinquent by teachers, school administrators or even the local police.
Let me clarify, first of all, what affirmation is not.
• Affirmation isn’t empty flattery—words with no foundation in truth.
• Affirmation isn’t appeasement or agreement, especially with actual error.
• Affirmation isn’t saying words without action, but saying words plus action.
In other words, correction isn’t always bad. Criticism can be very valuable, especially when coming from friends and family who are seeking our best interests. And all of us need to face our faults now and then so we can work on our habits and patterns for a healthier life. But almost nothing is more powerful to change our direction than affirmation.
One of the most important moments in the life of Jesus was his baptism. It was the initiation of his official, public ministry. John the Baptist felt unworthy of the occasion but reluctantly immersed Jesus in the waters of the Jordan as an example to every future follower of the Messiah. And when Jesus came up out of the water, something incredibly meaningful happened, and we often pass over it quickly as we read the gospel accounts of it.
After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly beloved Son, who brings me joy.”
Matthew 3:16-17 NLT
When Jesus was just getting started in his public ministry, God showed up to speak into his life words of affirmation, words that celebrated their Father-Son relationship, words that conveyed value. And he did it publicly, in front of people who would then decide to follow Jesus forever.
