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12 Struggles Singles Face

5. Contentment not envy: Don’t be looking enviously or angrily at happily married couples. Although it looks picture-perfect as perfectly groomed children pour out of the minivans every Sunday morning, the reality is often very different. There are challenges and trials in every life situation.

6. Forgiveness not bitterness: Don’t get angry with God for His providence or with others for their insensitivity or thoughtless neglect of you.

7. Patience not rush: If your singleness is involuntary, don’t be so anxious to marry or re-marry that that you end up in a disastrous relationship. God provides escapes from temptation (1 Cor. 10:13), but the escape for you may not be marriage. As Jason Helopoulos said:

Loneliness in a godless marriage can be even more severe than the loneliness one experiences in singleness.

8. Hope not despair: God may change your state sooner than you think. So, don’t give up praying and hoping. Paul Mathies, an unmarried church elder, expressed this hope:

Run after Jesus with all you are. Then, one day, you may look up and see a woman beside you running on the same path. But regardless of if that day comes, you gain Christ in the end, whether she comes or not.

Yes, God will definitely change it in the future when you will experience the closest possible marriage forever (Rev. 7:17, 19:7). Listen to these beautiful words forged in the fire of Fabienne’s singleness:

It might be that the pain of a life without physical intimacy was part of what equipped Paul to proclaim through the Spirit that to die is gain. To die is to gain a glorified body that feels and experiences the truth that all our needs are met in Jesus. To die is to gain the heavenly reality that earthly intimacy can only reflect in shadows. To die is to gain full oneness with God, fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.

9. Spiritual parenting not physical parenting: There are so many young men and women who would value your input into their lives as a mentor and model. You can become a spiritual mother or father without having any children of your own.

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davidmurray@churchleaders.com'
Dr. David Murray is Professor of Old Testament and Practical Theology at Puritan Reformed Seminary. He is also Pastor of Grand Rapids Free Reformed Church. David is the author of Christians get depressed too, How Sermons Work, and Jesus on Every Page. You can read his blog at HeadHeartHand.org/blog or follow him on Twitter @davidpmurray. David is married to Shona and they have five children ranging from 4 months to 17 years old, and they love camping, fishing, boating, and skiing in the Lake Michigan area.