10. Spiritual identity not marital status: You are not defined by your marital status or your sexual orientation. You are defined by your spiritual identity—in Christ, a child of your heavenly Father.
11. Ask don’t assume: It’s a great mistake to assume that singleness is a punishment from God. However, it may be that God is keeping you back from marriage because you have made an idol of it. Ask God to show you and deliver you, if this is the case. Also, ask friends if there’s anything really obvious to others, though not obvious to you, that may be putting others off.
12. Holiness not sin: You will often be tempted to sin mentally or even physically. Fabienne Harford wrote:
Singleness presents a series of hardships, but for me learning to live without physical intimacy has provided the biggest challenge and deepest suffering of this season.
Remember Jesus was able to live 33 single years, tempted in all points as you are, and yet without sin. He is therefore able to sympathize, support and strengthen you when are tempted.
He is THE SINGLE. He lived a life of perfect singleness and died a death of perfect singleness—experiencing the greatest possible sense of abandonment, desertion and loneliness—so that we could be brought into the deepest marriage relationship of all. Â
