This is often the way apostasy works. People see the work of Christ in the lives of people, they hear the word of Christ in the Scriptures, and even experience the benefits of Christ in the context of the community—and yet they turn away (Hebrews 6.4-8). This is, and always has been, a heart-breaking disaster. Judas is no different.
The whole scene engenders all kinds of emotions and reactions. I examine my own heart while marveling at the Savior’s. I know that if it were not for the grace of Christ I would run away from him too, selling him out for pocket change. Thanks be to God for his arresting, converting and persevering grace that will not let his people go once he has made them his (Jude 24-25).