You had a C-section? I am so sorry. Maybe you can try for a natural birth next time. I have this amazing doula and birth center. I had an all-natural water birth there last year.
I was at a baby shower when I overheard the conversation. Several moms were gathering around a woman who was cradling a sleeping newborn with pink cheeks and dark curls.
The mom nodded uncertainly, “I do think I’ll try to have a natural birth next time.” Shame, sadness and insecurity were hidden behind her tired eyes.
When young moms gather, birth is a natural connection point. These conversations can be funny, fascinating and occasionally terrifying. I genuinely enjoy these varied birth stories, especially the natural birth ones. I praise God for the natural birth stories of many of my friends. I’m fascinated as I read or hear their stories, and am happy that they were able to give birth without hospital intervention and unnecessary cost and stress. I’m grateful that God gives doulas and midwives and natural birth centers to help women with birth.
But I am concerned as I hear some women evangelize for natural birth, and then I observe the hurting women who can’t experience natural birth. How many times have we talked about “my birth plan,” and how important it is to have “a completely natural birth.” After all, birth is natural, isn’t it? “I want to feel empowered during my birth experience, and my plan helps me to accomplish that.”
Such thinking, though, can be self-indulgent and historically ignorant. Birth is not about self-fulfillment. Natural birth is not another thing to check off your bucket list, along with running a marathon. Overemphasizing natural birth can tempt young moms to view it as the only option for intentional mothers, while taking for granted the lives of their closest friends.
