You and your family
I was tired of putting my family second to my job. Even though my “job” is my calling from God, my priorities were out of whack. My family is my primary calling.
God has placed your family under your care. And if you abdicate your role, you are spurning a gift God has given you. A beautiful, precious and at times fragile gift. One that’s not easily gained, but in a moment can be lost.
Children are a gift from God. A reward (Psalm 127:3). And a spouse? “Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife” (Proverbs 19:14).
My family is my primary calling. And so is yours. It doesn’t matter if you’re a full-time vocational minister or not. If God’s blessed you with a family, that’s your first calling. And it’s your job to guard your time with them, and treat it as the gift it is intended to be in your life.
Here are five ways I intentionally guard my time.
Guarding My Family Time
1. No more emails buzzing my phone.
When I feel my phone buzz, like Pavlov’s dog I have to check. Until I do, I twitch. So I turned off the buzz, and do you know what happened? I stopped twitching.
2. Calendar my Sabbath.
I actually block off time on my calendar for my day off every week. But even this hasn’t always worked. I’d block off the time, but still find a way to squeeze in an hour or two here and there. So in addition to calendaring my day off, I had to actually honor that.
Those are two different, but equally important, tasks.
3. Capture ideas, but don’t act on them.
If you’re like me, inspiration never strikes at the perfect moment. I don’t have the grand idea when I have my computer open. I have it when I’m almost asleep at night. Or when I’m in the middle of a meeting. Or…on my day off.
So I started working out this thing with my wife, where I’d tell her exactly what I’m doing: I’m jotting down an idea so I won’t forget it.
Because if I don’t capture that idea, I’ll be haunted by it, not able to think about anything else until I record it.
Quick. Easy. Done. Back to my family.
4. Take pictures, but don’t post them.
This was a big one. Because I’d take my phone out of my pocket to capture a moment, then when I went to post it to Instagram I’d get sucked in to the web of social media. Then I’d remember that email I had to send. Then I’d text a co-worker. By the time I’d blinked, an hour had passed.
So now I just use my camera app, take the picture, then post later.
It’s an easy step, and one that keeps me engaged with my family.
5. Get up early.
When I need to get extra work done, just like you do, I get up extra early. If a sacrifice has to be made, I’m going to be the one to make it, not my family. I’ll work when it’s inconvenient for me. My wife and kids aren’t naturally up at 4 a.m.
6. Be present.
When I’m with my family, I work hard to be with my family. It sounds simple, but removing distractions so that I can live life in the moment with those I love communicates loads of value.
I’m still not perfect at this. It’s a work in progress. But I’m continuing to take steps in the right direction. Oftentimes, it’s two steps forward, then one step backward. But I’m moving in the right direction.
At least, I think I am. You’re probably better off asking my wife, though.
*There are times when emails and phone calls need to be taken on a day off. I get it. Emergencies happen. I’m talking more about patterns of behavior here, not one-offs.
