Home Pastors Articles for Pastors The Affair You Are Most Likely to Have as a Christian Leader

The Affair You Are Most Likely to Have as a Christian Leader

The Affair You Are Most Likely To Have As A Christian Leader

So could you end up having an affair as a leader—even as a well-intentioned Christian leader?

I think the answer is absolutely. 

Obviously, some leaders have emotional or sexual affairs with people to whom they are not married. As heartbreaking, future-altering and faith-shattering as those affairs can be, there’s another kind of affair you’re actually far more likely to have.

Here’s my story.

My wife came home one day from a counseling appointment with some news.

We see the same counselor. He knows my story. He knows hers. We’ve even seen him together a good number of times, both in the tough seasons and in the good ones.

As we were debriefing what she learned in her last session, I asked if there was anything else they talked about.

My wife Toni replied, “Are you sure you want to know?”

I told her I did, wincing a little.

“Well, he said that, in his view, you had an affair.”

It was one of those awkward moments, because I know I didn’t have that kind of affair…but my mind started racing. Did he think I had an emotional affair? Again…I couldn’t think of anyone.

So I asked: “What did he mean?”

“He said you had an affair with your work,” Toni told me.

And hearing those words, I knew he was right.

So we talked about it. In both my wife’s view and mine, my affair ended years ago.