4. Because self-loathing discourages those who see grace in me
In 1 Corinthians 1:4-9 Paul describes a seriously messed-up church in a seriously surprising way: He tells them how he sees God’s grace active in them! He doesn’t deny their sin—he will deal with it strongly later in the letter—but he also doesn’t hate them for it. On the contrary, because he has seen grace in them he is encouraged by them, loves them and longs to see them grow.
The reality is that no matter how badly I’m doing, there are those around who love me, see God’s grace in me and are encouraged by me. If I continually dwell (and make them to dwell) on the sin in me, I will only discourage them and deprive them of the chance to give thanks to God for what he has done in my life. And Satan loves you to discourage one another.
5. Because self-loathing hinders true relationship when I withdraw
From the very first sin, we see that Satan’s tactics result in us withdrawing from good and godly relationships. Genesis 3:7-8: ‘Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths’ (they withdrew from each other). ‘And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden’ (they withdrew from God).
When I self-loathe, I am giving influence to shame. Shame isolates, and in isolation, further sin thrives, which gives pleasure to our enemy.
6. Because self-loathing distracts me from true humility
True humility (Philippians 2:1-11) is entirely grounded in an ‘others-oriented’ worldview. Self-loathing, ironically, makes much of me. How I feel about myself becomes the central, all-determining point of reality.
God gives grace to the humble, but opposes the proud. It is no wonder Satan loves self-loathing: Self-loathing is the opposite of godly humility.
7. Because self-loathing makes me think that the answer is to love myself more
Loving myself more might seem like the answer to hating myself (and in many churches that is exactly what is preached). But that’s hogwash.
The answer is not to make little of my sin, but to make much of it: to see that it is my sin that caused Jesus to suffer and die. But don’t stop there. The answer doesn’t end with a Savior who suffers, but with a Savior who declares ‘It is finished!’ as he dies, then proves it when he rises. It ends with us meditating on the truth that ‘greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.’
He has called us friends. He died for us. I don’t need to convince myself to love me; I just need to remember that because God so loved, he gave his Son.
I am loved.
And no matter how much Satan hates that truth, it is where I am called to live.
