Home Pastors Articles for Pastors 25 Really Strange Things Church Members Say to Pastors

25 Really Strange Things Church Members Say to Pastors

    1. Just before the service began: “Pastor, there’s no toilet tissue in the women’s restroom.”

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      Makes you wonder what she would have said if the pastor was in the women’s restroom replacing toilet tissue.
    2. “Thank you for shaving your facial hair, because the Bible forbids it.”
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      You’re right. It’s right there in the Bible at Hezekiah 3:16.
    3. “My husband’s ashes are in two different places. Will Jesus be able to find him?

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      It’s amazing what your husband did to get away from you.
    4. “Pastor, help me cut this Coke can. I need an ashtray for the fellowship hall.”

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      Yes, things go better with Coke.
    5. In the middle of the service, a woman asks: “Pastor, aliens visited me. Is God okay with that?”

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      You are mistaken. They were Jehovah Witnesses, not aliens.
    6. “Pastor, I need you to come get rid of the secret agents spying on me from my attic.”

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      The pastor remembers learning how to deal with this situation from his seminary training.
    7. “Is it OK for me to lie if I ask for forgiveness in advance?” 
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      Definitely a Southern Baptist.
    8. “Will you come to my house and help get my husband off the toilet?”
      via GIPHYMa’am, all husbands like to spend extended time there. Have him take two aspirin and call me tomorrow.
    9. Church member: “Pastor, will you pray for my son? He’s wild and out of control.” Pastor: “Sure, what’s his name?” Church member: “Maverick.”

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      I guess we should be thankful his name is not “Homicide.”