A few weeks ago I sent out an email and one of the recipients called me up for a chat. He asked if I would be open to feedback about how the email was written. I chuckled, and agreed to the process. He was kind, but didn’t pull too many punches. And I am thankful. My emails have never been the same since. They are quick, to the point and give only the necessary information.
2. The hardest people to take feedback/criticism from are those we care for the most.
Through the years I have received all sorts of criticism, some valid and some downright nasty. It’s easy for me to dismiss and move on when a crotchety senior who has never said a kind word in their lives points out a flaw in my message or delivery. But when my wife does, it really stings. “Wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Proverbs 27:6), but they are still wounds, and require us to swallow our pride and take the feedback as kindness. In my case, Melissa takes no pleasure in combing through my sermons looking for weakness. She thinks I’m a good communicator. She always wants me to do my best. And if I have spinach in my teeth, she will let me know. I might be embarrassed in the moment, but I’d be mortified if I delivered my message with a salad bar in my teeth.
The ideal of ‘nailing it’ on the first-take is seriously flawed.
We communicators have a flawed idea that once we have preached enough sermons or received a passing grade in a homiletics course that we are above scrutiny. We would never say that aloud (how egotistical!), but that is the vibe we put out there. The same goes for inviting feedback during the sermon prep process. What holds you back from checking in with someone who cares about you to see if they understand the message you are trying to convey? Isn’t the point of a sermon to effectively communicate the Good News of Jesus? And if that’s the case, is it such a bad idea to take a moment to see if you are on the right track?
First drafts should never be the final draft. That’s why you need to give yourself time, and get feedback from friends. Saturday night specials won’t cut it. Give yourself time to get feedback from friends and inspiration from the Holy Spirit through prayer and study.
Everyone will be thankful you did.
P.S. Two people told me that sermon was the best they ever heard from me. (Thanks, Melissa! You saved me from a BIG MISTAKE!)
This article on surviving feedback from friends originally appeared here.
