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Discipling Families in a Multi-Ethnic Lifestyle

5. Pray.

Model what it sounds and looks like to pray for injustice and reconciliation. You don’t have to go into specifics until your child is ready. You don’t even have to know the best words for each situation. Sometimes how you sound—sad and heartbroken—might be all that is really needed. Simply acknowledging to God, in front of your children, that things aren’t as easy for our brothers and sisters of color can raise some great conversations. When we weep with those who weep, it sets the context for race conversations in our kids’ minds. I’d much rather stumble through my words with them than trust society to do it for me.

I have heard it said that in pursuing multi-ethnic community, we must spend time in relationship—listening well, having conversation—and twice as much time on our knees, begging God to move in the lives of those impacted by and those who have perpetrated oppression. After all, we model humility for our children through our weaknesses, not our strengths. When our children see us sincerely struggling through issues like this, it demonstrates to them how they should also depend on God to direct them, even when they are unsure.

There is a lot of fear in this process. I have been afraid to take on this task with my children because there is so much I don’t understand. I have been afraid because I sometimes don’t want to find out the truth for myself. But my biggest fear is to sit back and do nothing, to be complicit in a continual cycle of division. I am still learning, and while I may be doing things differently in 10 years than I am today, I never want to stop growing.

These conversations and relationships are challenging. But through these efforts, my family and I have found this challenge to be one worth taking. My prayer for my family, and yours, is that we can push past our fragility and boldly teach the next generation the whole truth of the gospel in light of our differences, not despite them.

This article originally appeared here.