I’ll finish by telling you that today I write this article from my bedroom. For the first time in months, I have had to take a ‘mental health’ day. I’m not physically unwell, I just simply couldn’t face other people’s needs today. My two-year-old twins haven’t slept through the night for months. And I’m tired. I should have taken a day off before today, but I didn’t, because that would have acknowledged that I couldn’t be there for others in the way I wanted to be. And that was a threat to my false identity of ‘the needed one.’ It’s a mental health day as much as it is a spiritual reminder that the world is not turning on my axis.
Like Life Itself
Being a pastor with depression is much like the rest of life in a fallen world. God has a way of bringing about great purposes as a result of it. But it’s a far from perfect life.
Pros and cons.
So there’s no need to treat me differently. My depression is just another reminder of our common experience. Life is a journey of different experiences and emotions, whether you live with depression or not. So I take it one day at a time, and live in faith that God is never absent in his hand over creation.
Down Not Out is a new book by Chris Cipollone which looks at the difference Jesus makes for those who suffer with depression and anxiety. It is available to buy now.
This article originally appeared here.
