The point is that while we all have wounds, we all have the potential for healing as well. And those wounds, the Enneagram suggests, drive our behavior out of fear, anger or shame (a powerful and I think accurate insight).
Cron and Stabile wisely spend a bit of time going over the childhood of every personality type and offering some ideas on what may have happened to take kids with a particular personality type in unhealthy directions. It’s less weird than it sounds, and it’s very helpful.
A lot of Eights grew up to soon or were bullied as kids (took me back to being a red-headed kid and trying to defend myself at school…something I hadn’t thought of before), or a Perfectionist One who tried to grow up as a role model kid terrified of making a mistake. Or a Five who grew up with distant parents and retreated into their thoughts as an escape.
That stuff still impacts you…you know that right?
It’s why you power up when you feel threatened, or shrink into a corner and want to die when someone criticizes your work. Or why you just emotionally disengage from people.
All of which impacts your life and leadership.
Here’s what I’ve learned: If you don’t know the source of your unhealthy behavior, you can’t correct your course.
So get to the source. Understanding your wound is the first step to overcoming it.
