4) Don’t apologize for the need to say no.
If you say, “I’m sorry I have to say no,” that sends a confusing message.
It’s better to say something like: “I’m sorry this disappoints you, but it’s the right thing for now.”
Keep in mind your answer of “no” comes after a genuine and honoring conversation. And it’s never delivered bluntly. Make it clear, but not with a hammer.
The conversation is usually easier if there is an established relationship of trust, and you have a solid track record of leadership.
But even if the relationship is relatively new, trust can be established relatively quickly by taking time to connect, communicate appreciation for who they are, and understand the why behind their request.
Don’t mistake saying yes as automatically a good way to empower a leader. Sometimes saying yes can hurt a leader or the church.
The best decisions that must include no for an answer helps develop the leader and strengthen the church.
5) Say yes as often as you can.
Empowerment, not control, is the better choice whenever possible. Therefore, always say yes when you can.
For example, there have been many times when someone has approached me about wanting the church to start a ministry.
We obviously can’t take ownership of every ministry someone wants to start. But I can often say, “Yes, and you can start the ministry.” You can do it personally and start as soon as you would like.
(Generally, it’s not a ministry inside the church, but one outside in the community. Starting more and more ministries within the church is rarely a good idea.)
On that topic of “a lean ministry” I’ve written a post you can read here.
I might continue the conversation with something like, you are very capable, and if God has placed this idea or vision within you, you don’t need to hand it off to the church to do, you can go for it. And they often do!
You can offer to meet with them to brainstorm and to help get them started, but they own it, not the church.
It’s never easy to say no, but as leaders, it is often our responsibility and in everyone’s best interest to be courageous, direct, and deliver the answer no one wants to hear.
This article originally appeared here.
