This week is a very solemn one for me. Nearly four years ago, I experienced one of the lowest moments of my life, which I took time out to write about some time ago here on this blog. Decided to revisit and reflect again on what I wrote and share it with you over the next two days.
————————————————–
During the Spring of 2007, my entire world was turned upside down. An incredible, yet unfortunate chain of events helped set me on a course from simply living life as a leader of ministry, into one day becoming an authentic ministry leader. I was working for a very large and influential church; one whose vision and passion for young people transformed my heart in an immeasurable way when I was still in college.
Although a believer in Christ at an early age, like most college students, I decided to place my faith in God on a shelf, and indulge in many of the temptations that the college life has been known to offer. Had it not been for this church and the desire and commitment of its pastor to begin reaching out to the local college campus community, I’m not sure where my life would have ended up.
It was through this church that my faith in God was renewed. And it was at this church, that I found a real love for ministry, especially for young people and college students within the campus community I once was apart of.
After nearly six years of becoming apart of the ministry that had given so much to me as a college student, I was blessed with the opportunity to become the College & Student Ministry Director for that church.
A tremendous honor to say the least.
Things at first were moving along quite well. My passion to see college students impacted and encouraged to follow after Christ consumed me completely. From visiting and creating ministry programs for students while on campus, to opening up my home and spending time with them while off campus, I had never been more on fire for God in my life.
Every day I woke up, to know that I actually was being paid to do something I loved to do, that I perhaps would have even done for free, was a blessing too wonderful to comprehend. After getting married, and being blessed with two lovely children, I thought that nothing could derail me or distract me from the path that I was on in ministry. But then, it happened.
SUCCESS
It is amazing how a period of success or the roaring sound of praise can cloud the judgment of the most dedicated of leaders. Our hearts of flesh can so easily be turned into hearts of stone when we no longer align our hearts with the heart of a holy God.
It was not long before my drive in ministry had more to do with receiving the accolades of man, than bringing glory and honor to God. My desire to please God was exchanged with a desire to please myself. Ministry no longer was viewed as a privilege. It had become an idol.
An idol that in the Spring of 2007, was completely exposed, creating an unfortunate situation for not only my pastor and fellow ministry leaders, but for several of the students I had been given the responsibility to lead. A decision had to be made. And it was.
TERMINATED
Ashamed. Devastated. Depressed. Shocked.
I can probably write an entire thesaurus full of words that described the kind of pain I felt on that day after being fired by my church. And it still wouldn’t do it any justice. As I drove home from the church that day, a drive that seemed like an eternity, I will never forget pulling up in our driveway, and noticing a small package left at our front door.
The contents of this package radically changed my life, and brought a brand new perspective of God, and the importance of worship, that I hope we all can embrace as believers today.
