Philip Wagner wrote Turn Your Marriage Around in 10 Days. I am processing the book and apply the below principles in my marriage. It is crucial for ministry leaders to invest in and protect their marriages. No matter where you are in your marriage (good or bad) this book is a great resource. Below is a sample of outline of book. Enjoy.
1. Make Your Marriage a Priority
A ‘marriage-centered’ marriage. Not business-centered, children-centered but marriage-centered. Keep the main thing the main thing.
2. Remember Your Vows
“I promise God and all these people – I will love, honor, respect and serve forever. Through tough times and good times (sickness or health, rich or poor). Till death do we part . . .” That’s like – forever.
Meet the deepest need of your spouse . . . Love & respect.
Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.- Eph. 5:33 NIV
3. Climb Up the Admiration Ladder
One step at a time. Each step is important.
- Admiration
- Endorsement
- Acceptance
- Tolerance
- Rejection
4. Rebuild Trust
Trust is the glue to relationships. Trust is earned not deserved. What can you do to earn some trust?
5. Forgive Regularly
For the little things and the big things.
6. Work on Your Own Soul
You can’t change your spouse. So you might as well work on you. Grow, change or improve your attitude. Try to allow some healing in your heart.
7. Make Time to Connect
Take 15 minutes a day to talk, walk, listen . . . just connect.
Pray together.
Kiss. Learn the 10 second kiss. “Kiss me like you mean it.”
8. Enjoy Playful Creativity
Have fun. Marriage is work but it is supposed be work for a payoff. The payoff should be fun. Play. Relax a little. Find something to laugh about.
9. Communicate Each Other’s High Five
What are 5 things you need to feel in your marriage?
For instance . . .
“I need to feel . . .”
- I’m the most important person in your world
- That you care about what I’m saying
- That you would change your plans if I needed you
- That you care what I care about
- That you would protect me
Listen to your spouse and then try to do something to help meet that need.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Phil. 2:4 NIV
10. Dream Together Again
Sometimes life’s struggles cause us to stop dreaming.
“Without a vision the people perish.” Without a dream, marriages weaken. Imagine together . . .
- What would you do if you could do anything?
- What would you like to do if you had all the money you needed to do it?
- What dream did you give up on?
- What do you think God wants to do in the world – through you?
Do you think this will work? Will you give it a try?
