Rely on truth, not emotions.
Your thoughts could matter less and, frankly, may have no authority. Christ’s thoughts could not matter more, and they have full authority. This is why preachers need to be expositors—ones who, each time they stand before the people, unfold the meaning of a particular text of Scripture, first to the people of that day and then to the people of our day. That way, a hardened heart has to struggle with God, not you. You may become the scapegoat, but the hearer’s problem is really with the Author of the Scriptures, not the communicator of the Scriptures. A seasoned pastor once told me, “The first book any pastor ought to preach through, a paragraph at a time, is I Corinthians. It speaks to every problem in the church.” If you attempt to use emotion to convince, it distracts from the authority of the Word. If you use the calm (yet enthusiastic) preaching of the Word and allow a passage such as I Corinthians to convict, it respects the authority of the Scriptures.
Use humor.
Tell me I’m in a wretched condition—callous to spiritual truth, uncaring about anyone but me, unteachable in spirit—and I’ll likely get mad at you. Tell it to me in a way that makes the hardest heart grin, and I’m likely to reflect on what you say. Be careful, though, how you enter and exit the humor; it can make a big difference. For example, suppose as you are preaching you say, “Sometimes we find it hard to admit where we are spiritually and how great our need is, how far we have walked from Him and how much we need His mercy. A woman who had her picture taken was totally disgusted with how it looked. Storming mad, she walked into the photographer’s office, slammed the picture down on his desk and said, ‘That picture doesn’t do me justice.’ He responded, ‘Madam, with a face like yours, you don’t need justice, you need mercy.’ Now, wait a minute, before you laugh, have you ever thought about how much we, too, need mercy? If He gave us what we deserve, we wouldn’t stand a chance. We deserve His justice, but we receive His mercy.” This kind of humor I’m not easily going to forget. You make me laugh, but the Holy Spirit may use it to make me listen.
Use “we” more than “you.” A hardened heart, whether it is a non-Christian who hasn’t come to Christ or a Christian walking from Him, grieves the heart of God. But so does impatience, unkind thoughts and selfish thinking on the part of any growing believer. Sin of any kind is offensive to God. Furthermore, as D.L. Moody once said, “But for the grace of God, there be I.” Had it not been for His grace, we too would be lost. Any believer stands the danger of walking from God if he ceases to grow as a Christian. Therefore, as we speak to hardened hearts, “we” has to be a big part of our vocabulary. “We” in speaking has three advantages. For one, you don’t come across as “holier-than-thou.” Listeners understand that you not only see them as sinners, but you see yourself as one.
Secondly, “we” helps you speak as a caring friend, not a scolding parent. When my heart is hardened, I need such a friend. The scolding is deserved, but the care is more needed. Thirdly, it lets me know you are speaking with me, not at me. This is particularly effective in reaching hardened hearts because by speaking with me, you come up underneath me; while speaking at me, you come down on top of me. Is there a place for “you” language in preaching? Most definitely. But “you” should be used prominently in the end of your message and “we” used at the beginning. As you come to the end of your message, “you need to come Christ” is in order. After all, you as the speaker have already come to Him; the listener is the one in need. If I’m a Christian with a hardened heart, “you” is also in order as you close your message. You as the speaker have already dealt with the truth of the passage you are speaking from. You are now asking the listener to do so.
Develop your communication skills.
Hardened hearts need to hear from a communicator, not a speaker. What a speaker says may go in one ear and out the other. What a communicator says tends to have an impact. Why? Communicators look at several things: “How can I say this in different words than they have heard before?” “How can I use illustrations to drive home my point and cause them to identify with it?” “Where would humor be effective?” “What kind of analogy would help?” “How can I keep my message to 30 minutes?” “How can I speak in a way that causes them to want to come back?” “How can I say this in truth, but also in grace?” Communicators are difficult for a hardened heart to turn away from because they present the truth of the Scripture in a way that penetrates. If my heart is hardened, truth communicated well allows me to leave your presence, but it makes it more difficult to leave your message.
Conclusion
Are these ideas guaranteed to penetrate a hardened heart? No. But that, again, is not our business. Our assignment is to do our part and let God do His. I dare say, though, millions of hardened hearts have been broken through these six principles. They have caused more than one person to admit, “Oh, wretched man that I am” (Romans 7:24).
