By the way, the best tactic for training a counselor is to partner him/her with someone who’s already a great counselor. Let the counselor-in-training silently observe the mentor as he/she counsels people after an altar call. Just make sure the mentoring counselor gets a chance to debrief the situation with the counselor-in-training after everything is said and done.
These efforts will ensure that when people decide to give their lives to God, they can have access to well-trained counselors.
Mistake #5: Use counselors who talk too much.
Humans have two ears and one mouth, but hardly anyone uses them proportionately, including many counselors. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve observed counselors preaching to the people sitting in front of them after an altar call. (Didn’t they just hear a sermon? Do they really need another one so soon?)
Some counselors think it’s important to share every passage of Scripture on the topic of salvation with those who don’t understand the concept yet. I hear them say, “Now let’s turn to Ephesians 2:8-9,” but the poor person is still looking for Romans 1:16, the last passage referenced.
Other counselors feel it’s crucial to communicate every theological thought they have in their mental database. I’ve overheard counselors lecturing people about various atonement theories, the cosmological argument for the existence of God and the Levitical system of animal sacrifice! Meanwhile, the person who wants to accept Christ just sits there with a confused look on his or her face.
Yes, counselors need to be able to articulate biblical truth; but they must remember truth is meant to be life-changing, not overwhelming. Instead of talking so much, counselors should be trained to ask really good questions. Here are a few examples:
1. What’s your name? (Yep, this is a big one! Most of us usually are reluctant to take advice from those who don’t know our names. Take the time to ask this important question.)
2. How would you describe your relationship with Jesus? Why?
3. What made you respond to the message?
4. Are there any particular struggles, habits or sins you have in life?
5. What decision have you made as a result of the message?
6. Very specifically, how can I pray for you?
Counselors shouldn’t talk too much … but at some point, they will need to speak. That brings us to our next mistake.
Mistake #6: Focus on the symptom, not the Savior.
I saw it happen recently in a church where I was speaking. A young man had responded to a message I preached from Psalm 20 and was partnered with a (young) counselor. The two of them were engaged in a serious conversation when I walked in a few minutes later. I quietly sat down beside them and silently listened as the counselor tried to help the young man with his addiction to pornography.
The counselor talked on and on about the best ways to overcome this destructive addiction: get accountability, download filtering software, read the Bible, ask for God’s help, etc. All of it was good advice. Then the counselor stood up to leave; he’d said all that could be said about porn.
However, he’d said nothing about the Savior.
Acting quickly, I asked if I could pose a few questions to the young man. I was given his permission, so I cut right to the chase and asked him about his relationship with Jesus. Did he have one? How did he know? What was the quality of it? How was the sin of pornography affecting that relationship? What was his plan in dealing with that sin?
