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Kevin Ford and Jim Singleton: What Happens When Church Leaders Are Not ‘Attentive’

“An attentive leader is able to differentiate self from role…There’s a tendency for pastors to fuse their role and their self. So when they receive criticism, they take it as something that’s a personal attack to them.”

“I really encourage leaders to think about how they come across to other people. They’re often not aware of their own unresolved issues.”

“I think what happens so often, especially with the narcissistic pastors, is they bury these issues and then [the issues] come out in very unhealthy ways. And that’s why we see a lot of the crash and burn that we’re seeing around the country.”

“I think every pastor, every ministry leader needs to be in a relationship, whether it’s one person or a group, where they can truly be authentic.”

“If the congregation feels like they’ve been heard and listened to and valued, that creates trust.”

“Trust and distrust…they’re not two sides of the same coin. Distrust can happen immediately. So a pastor falls, there’s a scandal. Distrust is cast over the congregation immediately. But trust takes a long time to build.”

“I think far too often pastors, ministry leaders are looking for the easy answers. So the idea behind being attentive, it’s not an answer. It’s a posture.”

Key Quotes From Jim Singleton

“We have an even greater need to be attentive to what God is doing in our lives.”

“I think we have to learn to be attentive to the change in our own congregations and the ways they are relating to information.”

“Most of us face a lot of conflict. We face a lot of opposition. We face a lot of challenge, and we face a lot of strange hours and strange dual relationships. And if we’re not attentive…then we often get swallowed up by what goes on with the church and get very discouraged.”

“We need people that will hold up a mirror to our souls…In our age of individualism, we don’t have enough soul friends.”

“We just haven’t really embraced that the treasure is in an ordinary clay pot that’s very fragile and breakable. We somehow believe we have to become a golden urn for the Lord. Then maybe we just need more people around us to hold up that mirror to the soul and say, ‘Let’s walk together. I want to be a companion on the journey.’”