“Realize all humans are gonna make mistakes, and a mistake or breach in trust doesn’t mean that the relationship’s gonna fall apart or that that person isn’t trustworthy. There’s a big difference between a mistake and a pattern of behavior.”
“Ask clarifying questions. Get curious, not furious.”
“Our brain is always wanting to be in a situation where it can analyze that we’re safe. But when that’s disrupted by something that seems hurtful or fearful or something confusing we don’t understand, we must seek clarity.”
“I am so happy to be in a relationship where there’s trust, there’s no history of betrayal, where I’m treasured and I’m honored. And that all feels amazing. And at the same time, it doesn’t fix anything that’s broken inside of me.”
“External circumstances don’t automatically fix internal realities that need to be healed.”
“There’s wise trust and there’s foolish trust.”
“When we have distrust that starts to invade, we’ve got to ask ourselves, where is the root of this distrust?”
“Believe the best until they beg you otherwise. But there are red flags that we can pay attention to. And again, the quicker that we address something we’re seeing and we seek clarity for it, the less we will fill in the gap with our own narrative.”
“Unresolved hurt inside of us will always be multiplied outside of us if we don’t deal with it. So how do we deal with church hurt? I think we have to start with ourselves first because we can’t control the choices of another person. But one thing we don’t want to do is allow the hurt that’s happened to us to change us in such a way that then we start unleashing that hurt on other people.”
“When we look at other people, the fruit that they demonstrate from their life—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness—that’s gonna tell us so much more than their words ever will.”
“The temptation I see a lot is church leaders wanna put a pretty big buffer between themselves as a teacher and a preacher, and then interacting with the people that are sitting in our congregation or following along.”
“We don’t want our first words full of shock and bitterness to become our last words filled with hate and resentment.”
“You know, when we’re a leader and we get hurt, of course you’re gonna have hard feelings. Don’t shame yourself for that…But it’s that second thought. It’s that second word. It’s that second moment where we’re developing a narrative about people or that person or that organization. That’s where we really need to take a step back and ask for help if we need help, and then certainly getting into God’s Word.”
“Sometimes when I want to get into God’s Word the least is when I actually need to get into it the most.”
Mentioned in the Show
“I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment” by Lysa TerKeurst
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