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Assumptions About Introverts in Small Groups

4. In some settings, when I’m quieter than others, it’s been assumed I’m not as intelligent as others in the room.

That’s probably true in a lot of ways; depending on the subject. I try to surround myself with people smarter than me. Plus, I listen well. Actually, however, I have a few degrees hanging on my wall. In some ways, however, I think I may be smarter than the one who never quits talking. I am less likely to say the thing I wish I hadn’t said, because I didn’t think before I talked. It happens, but not as often as it might for some.

5. Sadly, some have thought I am arrogant or don’t like people.

That is definitely not true. Honestly, I love everyone. I have a Biblical commitment and a personal goal to do so. Whether or not I talk to you will not be a good determination of whether or not I like you. It might even mean I respect you enough to listen more than speak. Maybe.

6. Some have thought I need someone to talk for me.

Actually I’d rather you not. Now that said, I sometimes let my wife talk for me. She’s good at it too. If I have an opinion I think needs sharing, however, I’ll speak for myself. Or regret later than I didn’t. Either way, please don’t try to be my voice.

7. Some have told me I need to change, mature, grow as a person or leader.

I have had that said a number of times as a pastor. But, let me assure you there’s nothing wrong with me. Actually, there’s a lot wrong with me, but introversion isn’t one of the things. I’m just quieter than some leaders you may know — or your immediate perception of a leader.

Those are some of the assumptions that have been made of this introvert.


This article on assumptions about introverts originally appeared here, and is used by permission.