Da Bears
Here’s a quick illustration. I’m a big fan of the Chicago Bears, and before the 2009 NFL season I came across an article about a charity event that was being run by one of the Bears’ defensive players, Charles “Peanut” Tillman. Peanut is a good guy, and every year he holds a celebrity flag football game to raise money for chronically ill children. That year the event was being sponsored by Meijer, which was cool. It’s good to see pillars of the community come together like that—especially for such a great cause.
The article was from an internet news outlet, and it talked about who Charles Tillman was and how his event has run in the past. But I soon noticed that the author had forgotten to delete his manuscript notes from the final copy. For example, when he mentioned the Charles Tillman Cornerstone Foundation, there was a note next to it that said “IS THIS THE RIGHT TITLE?”
Things still wouldn’t have been so bad if the author hadn’t included the following note after talking about why Tillman started the foundation: “QUOTE FROM A MEIJER PERSON WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT……OR I CAN MAKE IT UP.”
Ouch.
That was a good reminder to me of an important fact of small-group life: a lack of authenticity causes damage. You don’t even have to be blatant about it. Simply choosing to keep your masks on and avoid the frightening step of authenticity is enough to actively damage the relationships in your group. Because people don’t connect with masks. And when people don’t connect with others in a small group, they eventually leave.
